Unfriending Others

“Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.” (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15)

Sometimes you need to unfriend other people. Does that sound wrong? Even mean? We live in a society in which we’re supposed to get along with everybody. We’re supposed to accept everything that people say and do. The last thing we’re supposed to do is say that someone or something is wrong.

But Paul told the Christians in Thessalonica to do exactly that. He commanded them not to associate with anyone who did not obey the instruction in this letter which we call 2 Thessalonians.

Well, what sort of instruction did Paul give in 2 Thessalonians? He taught about always being prepared for Judgment Day by believing in Jesus. He taught about avoiding the “man of lawlessness” and his wickedness and lies. He taught about praying for the spread of the gospel and for more people to come to faith. He taught about tirelessly doing what is good and using our gifts and abilities to God’s glory. 

If people didn’t follow those instructions, if people refused to live by faith in Jesus and willingly followed false teachers and were unconcerned about the spread of the gospel and were idle and lazy, what were Christians to do? Not associate with them. Unfriend them.

Why? Not to be mean, and not because we’re better than they are. We are all sinners in need of Jesus’ grace! Instead, Paul says, “Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed.” The goal is that other people feel ashamed of their sins. That they repent of their sins and turn back to Jesus.

Can you see how loving that is? If someone is careening down a deadly path away from Jesus and his Word, it’s not loving to encourage them. It certainly isn’t loving to join them. The tough love of a Christian says to them, “I’m not going with you. In fact, I can’t associate with you right now. But when you’re ready to repent, I’ll be waiting for you with Jesus’ forgiveness.”

Sometimes you need to unfriend other people, so that someday you can welcome them back into the open arms of Jesus’ grace.

Dear Jesus, it’s hard not to join in when others turn away from you. Keep me strong in my faith, and give me the courage to not associate with those who do wrong. Lead them to repent and return to you. Amen.

Pastor Nathan