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Writer's picturePastor Nathan Nass

Betrayed by a Friend

In the course of time, Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him. He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, “What town are you from?” He would answer, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.” And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.”

Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel.

At the end of four years, Absalom said to the king, “Let me go to Hebron and fulfill a vow I made to the Lord. While your servant was living at Geshur in Aram, I made this vow: ‘If the Lord takes me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.’”

The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he went to Hebron.

Then Absalom sent secret messengers throughout the tribes of Israel to say, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpets, then say, ‘Absalom is king in Hebron.’” Two hundred men from Jerusalem had accompanied Absalom. They had been invited as guests and went quite innocently, knowing nothing about the matter. While Absalom was offering sacrifices, he also sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, to come from Giloh, his hometown. And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing.

A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the people of Israel are with Absalom.”

Then David said to all his officials who were with him in Jerusalem, “Come! We must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom. We must leave immediately, or he will move quickly to overtake us and bring ruin on us and put the city to the sword.”

The king’s officials answered him, “Your servants are ready to do whatever our lord the king chooses.”

The king set out, with his entire household following him; but he left ten concubines to take care of the palace. So the king set out, with all the people following him, and they halted at the edge of the city. All his men marched past him, along with all the Kerethites and Pelethites; and all the six hundred Gittites who had accompanied him from Gath marched before the king.

The king said to Ittai the Gittite, “Why should you come along with us? Go back and stay with King Absalom. You are a foreigner, an exile from your homeland. You came only yesterday. And today shall I make you wander about with us, when I do not know where I am going? Go back, and take your people with you. May the Lord show you kindness and faithfulness.”

But Ittai replied to the king, “As surely as the Lord lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king may be, whether it means life or death, there will your servant be.”

David said to Ittai, “Go ahead, march on.” So Ittai the Gittite marched on with all his men and the families that were with him.

The whole countryside wept aloud as all the people passed by. The king also crossed the Kidron Valley, and all the people moved on toward the wilderness.

Zadok was there, too, and all the Levites who were with him were carrying the ark of the covenant of God. They set down the ark of God, and Abiathar offered sacrifices until all the people had finished leaving the city.

Then the king said to Zadok, “Take the ark of God back into the city. If I find favor in the Lord’s eyes, he will bring me back and let me see it and his dwelling place again. But if he says, ‘I am not pleased with you,’ then I am ready; let him do to me whatever seems good to him.”

The king also said to Zadok the priest, “Do you understand? Go back to the city with my blessing. Take your son Ahimaaz with you, and also Abiathar’s son Jonathan. You and Abiathar return with your two sons. I will wait at the fords in the wilderness until word comes from you to inform me.” So Zadok and Abiathar took the ark of God back to Jerusalem and stayed there.

But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up. Now David had been told, “Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.” So David prayed, “Lord, turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness.”

When David arrived at the summit, where people used to worship God, Hushai the Arkite was there to meet him, his robe torn and dust on his head. David said to him, “If you go with me, you will be a burden to me. But if you return to the city and say to Absalom, ‘Your Majesty, I will be your servant; I was your father’s servant in the past, but now I will be your servant,’ then you can help me by frustrating Ahithophel’s advice. Won’t the priests Zadok and Abiathar be there with you? Tell them anything you hear in the king’s palace. Their two sons, Ahimaaz son of Zadok and Jonathan son of Abiathar, are there with them. Send them to me with anything you hear.”

So Hushai, David’s confidant, arrived at Jerusalem as Absalom was entering the city. (2 Samuel 15:1-37 NIV)

I’m going to say a phrase in Latin, but don’t be scared. It’s someone’s famous last words. I want to see if you’ve heard them before. Ready? “Et tu, Brute?” Ever heard that? “Et tu, Brute?” It’s Latin for, “You too, Brutus?” Ring any bells? On the Ides of March—March 15, 44 B.C.—Julius Caesar was assassinated. Julius Caesar had been rising to power in Rome. He had a lot of enemies. But when he was assassinated, he was surprised to see who did it: Brutus. His friend. Caesar couldn’t believe it. “You too, Brutus?” Life hurts. We’ve come to expect that. But when the pain comes from a friend? That’s a stab in the back. “You too? How?” Betrayed by a friend.

I’m afraid I don’t have to teach you that. What hits in life have hurt you the most? I bet it wasn’t playing football or soccer. I bet it was when you’ve been betrayed by a friend. Maybe it was hearing your friends talk about you behind your back. Maybe it was your boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly breaking up with you. Maybe it was your spouse breaking his or her vows. “Til death”—or not. Maybe it’s your child who’s turned away from everything you’ve done for him or her. Betrayal opens our eyes to the cruelty of our world. And it hurts. Et tu? “You too? How?”

This makes the story of King David so real for us. If you’ve ever had a friend betray you, if you’ve ever had a son turn against you, David did too. For him, it was Absalom. Absalom was David’s third oldest son, but by this time, his two older brothers were dead. Actually, Absalom had killed his older brother for raping his sister. Remember how God told David his family would be messed up because of his sins? It was a mess! Yet, as a father, David still loved Absalom. But Absalom didn’t love David back. Can you relate? Instead, he loved power.

Absalom got himself a chariot and horses and would sit by the gate of Jerusalem. He would listen to people’s concerns and say, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you….If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.” Then he would take their hand and kiss them. What does Absalom sound like? A politician! “He stole of the hearts of the people of Israel.” From whom? From his father. He was doing all of this against his own loving father. Pride and greed and ambition are so dangerous!

Finally, Absalom was ready for his coup. So he went to Hebron. We heard about Hebron a couple months ago. Remember what happened to David in Hebron? Hebron is where the people of Israel anointed David as their king. Now Absalom was doing the same thing—for himself! He rounded up his supporters, together with a bunch of innocent bystanders, and got them all to shout, “Absalom is king in Israel.” Let me ask again: Who was the king he was rebelling against? His own father! You talk about betrayal. About heartache. David was betrayed by his own son.

If this were a fairy tale, you’d expect King David to boldly sit on his throne and put down the rebellion. But this wasn’t a fairy tale. It’s real life. David fled. He fled for his life. The guy who fought lions and bears… The guy who killed Goliath… Great King David fled in the middle of the night. He left Jerusalem—the city he had conquered with God’s help. He crossed the Kidron Valley. He climbed the Mount of Olives. King David fled for his life in the middle of the night.

And do you know what he did along the way? He wept. He cried. Sometimes we get this in our heads that believers in God are always happy. “You better always have a smile on your face, or you’re not a Christian! Everything is always going well.” No, it’s not! We’re not in heaven yet! This was an awful night. When you’re betrayed by a friend, what’s the first thing you do? Weep. When your son turns against you, what do you do? Cry. “David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up.” What a sad parade! David wept.

That means it’s okay to cry. When your children rebel against you, it’s okay to weep. When your family ignores you—like Joseph’s brothers did—it’s okay to cry. When you find your friends talking behind your back, it’s okay to mourn the loss of what you thought was so good. When you’re betrayed, it hurts. There’s nothing Christian about hiding your emotions. There’s nothing strong about pretending or faking or denying. When you’re betrayed by a friend, it’s okay to cry.

But David didn’t just cry. He trusted in God. You’d think this would be the time to give up on God. His life was turned upside-down. But in the middle of his tears, David trusted in God. The priests were about to carry God’s ark of the covenant with David as he fled. But David told them to stay in Jerusalem. He said, “If I find favor in the LORD’s eyes, he will bring me back and let me see it and his dwelling place again. But if he says, ‘I am not pleased with you,’ then I am ready; let him do to me whatever seems good to him.” Can you hear his faith? “Let God do to me whatever seems good to him.” In the middle of his tears, David trusted in God and in God’s plan.

Because he knew God’s promises. By the time of David in 1000 B.C., parts of the Bible had already been written. Like God’s promise to Abraham: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward” (Genesis 15:1). Like God’s promise to Joshua: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). Like God’s promise to David himself: “Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever” (2 Samuel 7:16). When Absalom betrayed him, David knew that God wouldn’t. David knew that God was King. That God’s will would be done. While he wept, he put his trust in God and his promises.

And here’s what God did: He quietly sent people to encourage David. As he fled, weeping and barefoot, Ittai the Gittite—one of David’s soldiers—came up to him. David told him to go home. But Ittai said, “As surely as the LORD lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king may be, whether it means life or death, there will your servant be.” How do you think that made David feel? He wasn’t alone! The faithful priests—Zadok and Abiathar—promised to remain faithful to David. Then David’s old friend Hushai met him, with his robe torn and dust on his head. Hushai agreed to go back to Jerusalem and give Absalom bad advice. David wasn’t alone. When his son betrayed him, God surrounded him with believers who encouraged him.

God does that for you too! When you’re betrayed, it’s easy to just focus on the person who hurt you. But God wants you to see all the people who are on your side. Who love you. Who care for you. Who are ready and willing to help you. God makes sure you’re not alone, even on your darkest days. This is why we need a church. This is why we need brothers and sisters in Christ. To tell each other: Jesus loves you, and we do too! We want to care for each other. We want to encourage each other. We want to be Ittais and Hushais and Abiathars and Zadoks for all the discouraged Davids in our lives. You’re not alone. Jesus loves you, and we do too!

And there’s something you should know about Jesus. Jesus knows what it’s like to be betrayed. As we hear about David’s flight, some of the places sound familiar. The Kidron Valley. The Mount of Olives. Where have you heard those words before? That’s exactly where Jesus walked on Maundy Thursday evening. After the Last Supper with his disciples, Jesus crossed the Kidron Valley. He climbed the Mount of Olives to the Garden of Gethsemane. Just like David did! And what happened? Jesus was betrayed by his friend. Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. Remember? Can you imagine how that felt? Like a knife in the back. Jesus was betrayed by a friend.

But not just by Judas. Do you know who else betrayed Jesus? I did. You do. We talked about how wicked it was for Absalom to plan his own kingdom while his father David reigned as king. Jesus is our King, and how many times have we turned against him? How many times have we acted as if we were God? How many times have we shouted with our lives, “Out of the way, God. Let me rule! My way, not yours! If only I were king, then…” The Bible calls us children of God by faith in Jesus, and yet how often haven’t we betrayed our Father? Betrayed our Savior? Pride and greed and selfish ambition didn’t stop with Absalom. There are a lot more betrayers!

What should Jesus—the true King—do with us? He should throw us rebels into hell, right? That’s what we deserve. But he doesn’t. Jesus went further than David did. Jesus wasn’t just betrayed by a friend. Jesus died for his betrayer. Can you imagine that? Jesus died for all of us betrayers. The penalty for rebelling against the King is death, right? Jesus suffered that penalty for us. God punished Jesus on the cross for our betrayal, so that there’s forgiveness for you and me. God abandoned Jesus on the cross, so that he will never abandon you and me. If you know what it’s like to be betrayed, think of the love of Jesus for you and me—he died for his betrayers!

So that you can be sure that you are never alone. That you are never abandoned. There are so many promises in the Bible for us. David wrote in Psalm 27: “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me” (Psalm 27:10). God told his people through the prophet Isaiah: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). Julius Caesar’s last words were, “You too, Brutus?” Shock. Do you know Jesus’ words before he ascended into heaven? “Surely I am with you always to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Grace.

Here’s one of my favorites. God says, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:15-16). Even if your own mother forgets about you, God never will. That’s a promise you can depend on! Even if you’re betrayed by a friend, trust this: God never will. Even if your own child turns against you, trust this: God never will. Even if everyone else seems to abandon you, trust this: God never will. He has engraved your name on the palm of his hand. The next time your heart is filled with hurt, and you say, “You too?”, it’s okay to weep. Then trust in God. And know that Jesus loves you, and we do too.


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